Republic Day

Hurray! I'm allowed to access Blogspot again. There was an outage for three or four days and I don't know what changed but suddenly I can get into my site again. I posted once on the blog in my photo site but I'm going to transfer it to here.

Republic Day
Today, the 29th of October, is Republic Day in Turkey. It's like our Independence Day so everyone has their flag hung out on their balcony. Pictures are posted. When Sondra and I walked to work a couple days ago, a parade was practicing along the route we normally walk. There were military men in full uniform followed by school children (alternating blocs of girls and boys all in school uniform) waving a little Turkish flag in each hand. They were all chanting something but of course, I didn't understand it.

Turkish TV
I finally discovered Turkish television. I've never been much for TV, so I've only watched on the one in our flat occasionally when Sondra or George wanted to watch the BBC for news. But this morning (it's the weekend and I fully intend to lay about all day), I was flipping through channels trying to find BBC but I think that because it's Republic Day, they're broadcasting only Turkish stuff because I can't find it. After watching a couple bleach commercials and an incomprehensible history show about Ataturk, I and found a Turkish MTV-type channel. It's incredible. I have no idea what anyone is singing about, but it's fascinating to watch and look at the clothes, the party scenes, the special effects, the celebrities...

So far my favorite video is the one where there's a glamorous singer on a beach, lying by the waves in this satin plum evening gown, acting sultry and pushing her arms through the sand--and then suddenly! a man appears. He was wearing jeans and no shirt, and was supposed to be super mysterious but he had on one of those white Jason hockey masks. Epic.

Spread Thin

Work has been busy! I'm now the proud owner of four classes--two elementary ones, one pre intermediate and one intermediate. Prep time has decreased dramatically over the past week, since there simply isn't enough time to indulge in hours and hours for each class. I do worry about my new schedule stretching me too thin. I feel like a measly teaspoon of butter spread over an increasingly large piece of bread. One of my Businessmen commented tonight that I looked tired--does that mean I don't look 18 anymore?! Maybe I'm finally getting some wrinkles.

Turkish Women and the Headscarf

I found this video on The New York Times Online the other morning--it's a video about women in Turkey and the debate over the headscarf. Not like three women's opinions could provide a comprehensive overview of the subject, but it is more illuminating than nothing...

Baby Steps to English

So it starts with handing out nametags, smiling at students, maintaining silence and then finally saying slowly, "Hi. My name's J. What's your name?" They are tentative at first. We repeat things a lot. I write simple sentences on the board. I gesture with my hands. There's a decent amount of confusion, but often the student who understands what is going on will chatter a word or two of Turkish translation and the others nod in understanding. Pronunciation must be drilled ad nauseum. "Vere's" is corrected to be pronounced as "where's"; minutes are spent coaxing them to fit their tongue under their front teeth to make a convincing "th" sound that doesn't sound like "tr." And somehow, magically, they begin speaking English.

"Where are you from?" "I'm from Turkey. I'm Turkish." "What's your job?" "I'm a student." "What's this?" "It's an apple." "How do you spell apple?"

Yesterday was my first K1 class. I had massive loads of adrenaline coursing through me when I finished my hour and a half with them. I had a ten minute break to switch tracks and get ready to teach my Intermediate students at K17 (made all the more difficult since I stay in the same room for both classes). By the time my business men were sitting in front of me and I realized that I could talk to them, I was relieved and exhausted.

K1 students are excited and energetic, but also get exhausted. From my brief immersions in Japanese and Turkish for the sake of learning how to teach English, I empathize. Your brain feels squeezed dry. Tonight, at the end of the second class I had them organize a short conversation exchange between two friends. A lot of the vocabulary was new to them, but they worked in two teams of 3 to order the sentences. When they stopped shifting paper around, I played the accompanying CD that read the dialogue so they could check their work. Both teams had gotten the conversation ordered correctly and the look of triumph on their faces was unavoidable. I gave a thumbs up and down sign while asking if they got it correct. They all nodded yes and I yelled "Yay!" which only made them smile more.

I am creating them. I am becoming a teacher. I fucking love it!

The Water's Heating Up Under My Kettle

Damn Youth
Next door to Posh English École is a bakery where I bought a poacha this morning. The woman behind the counter spoke a little English and asked me where I was from (Oh! America!), what did I do (Oh! Teacher!), how old I was (Oh! 25! [Yes, I am still lying. To everyone.]). She sullied my mood when she said sweetly, "But you look so young! Maybe 18!" It's hard to mutter that maybe I just seem so young because she's so old, when she's smiling hugely at me. So I just shrugged and said, "Thank you!"

Damn Classes
J is... busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. This week is busy, busy.

I found out Friday that I have a new class starting on Monday--brand new, Elementary students so I'll be starting the first lesson with "Hi. My name's J. What's your name?" When I look at the textbook for the class, I experience mild panic. How do you communicate with people who have basically NO English skills? I haven't had to do that yet. All will be revealed tomorrow. At least I'll finally be getting paid for 15 hours a week. I might be able to afford a beer once in a while. :-P

Saturday morning I redeemed myself with my Pre Int class--the ones I screwed up teaching "but," "although," and "however" with last week. Yeah. I obviously know grammar--but explaining it in simple English when 16 eyes are watching my every move is challenging to say the least.

But THEN I found out Saturday that I had been placed on a surprise rota to cover for a teacher who had to go take care of her babies/sick mother somewhere in Turkey. I get paid for covering her class, which she had already planned. So I showed up to teach her Upper Intermediate class how to use the Future Perfect properly. *sigh* It was so half-assed. Honestly, it's such a pain to decipher someone's notes, stacks of photocopies, etc. I don't know how anyone could WANT to be a substitute teacher and put up with unenthusiastic students who are like, "When's so-and-so coming back? You're sure she's only out for one day?"

Hanging out with my own students is superior.

Damn Food Prices
Observed recently at a large chain store comparable to Walmart:

• Oats, 500g: 4YTL
• American Maple syrup, 8 ounces: 27YTL
• Smirnoff Vodka, 750mL: 50YTL

Musings 33 days in

I woke up this morning, stretched out in bed. The first thing that came to mind was that I really was too concerned about coming to Turkey. I was having a metaphysical crisis of sorts. I thought that there would be something fundamentally different about being here. That my entire being would feel different. That waking up in the morning would be a new sensation, that breathing, speaking, existing would somehow all be challenged and wrought new. Let me tell you, it's normal. Looking back, the fear seemed irrational.

And yet, my days are perhaps abnormal. Or do I mean un-cultural? I spend a lot of time online, and a lot of time at work. I don't know if my expectations for being in Turkey will be fulfilled (learning Turkish; finding out what a Muslim country is when I am in the most liberal, most European city in the country; meeting Turkish people and having Authentic Experiences). The Internet is a constant companion. I do not have to speak Turkish. Could I be anywhere?

I go between two bubbles--my flat and my work. I do live in a bubble here, but I lived in different bubbles in the States. I had home, work, school and various stopping points in between. I did not deviate from my path very often. And here, too, I am creating a path. I am comfortable--in love, even, with the parts of the city that I know. The fundamental difference in Izmir is that I do not possess the infinite possibility of being able to talk to whoever I want whenever I want.

My walk to and from work is my primary contact with The Turkish World. And yet, this contact is minimized, filtered through layers upon layers: I cannot understand the words spoken by anyone around me, except for the occasional tourist; I do not know street names, business names, neighborhoods; I do not know if I am just being appraised as another passerby, or if I am so obviously, hopelessly Other that my shoes/hair/gait cannot help but attract special attention.

In Izmir, the path between my bubbles is bound to silence and ignorance. The silence is startlingly unstartling. I don't have to endure overhearing vapid cell phone conversations. I don't understand what people are whispering or laughing about--is it me? I can't know so there is no point to even worrying. Silence is remarkably indulgent.

I don't know what authenticity is. I am here. I think that is enough.

Bumps in the road

My businessmen made me mad tonight! My class is down to a consistent five students and tonight only two of them had done their homework. Getting through a homework check was like watching molasses run down a hill in the middle of January--slower than you could imagine. Their low energy and enthusiasm really threw off my plans for the lesson. I introduced the Second Conditional to them--which they absorbed pretty well either because a) I knew the grammar point inside and out so I presented it well; or b) they were too tired and/or bored to question anything I said. Hopefully the former.

I got really flustered on Sunday with my Pre Int class. I tried to present the simplest grammar to them but still managed to get all turned around, thus ending the class on a historically low note. I'm going to have to work pretty hard on Saturday to restore their confidence in me. Luckily they like me--as evidenced from their attempts to help me explain my own botching of the grammar, and then their consoling, "Have a good day" as they filed out at the end of class when it was obvious that I was frustrated, frustrated, frustrated.

My first official observation went fine. I don't think I'll be asked to leave at the end of my trial period, but there are things I have to work on--controlling/reprimanding students' use of Turkish in the classroom; error correction techniques. Despite these weaknesses in my teaching, I am not required to show my lesson plans to anyone for review on a regular basis--I ask enough questions every day to prove that I am working my ass off. So I guess that means they trust me at least a little bit.

Anyway... With the world economy slumping as it is, new classes have been a little slow to get going around PEÉ. Us new teachers with pathetically low hours (I am currently getting paid for 10 hours a week) are getting an advance so we can scrape by the next little while. Hopefully it actually picks up, and until then, I'm just glad that I don't have to pay rent.

Çeşme!

At last! A trip that justified leaving İzmir and spending two hours en route! George and I got up and headed to Çeşme (Chesh-may) around 9am. We caught a city bus, then a private coach type bus, then, once we got to Çeşme, a dolmuş (a hybrid taxi / bus sort of thing) that took us to our beach: Altinkum. Since it's October, and Bayrum is over and everyone is back at work or in university, Altinkum--which is known for being crowded since it's so divine--was virtually empty. We shared it with approximately five other people throughout the entire afternoon. Though my Professional Photographer Brother could probably nitpick, I think some of my photos belong in a calendar--without people they're so picturesque!



It was practically Cloud 9. The water was so blue, the sky so clear, the waves so soft and warm and beautiful on the golden sand, the wind just enough to keep us from getting hot while we baked in the sun. I got a little too much sun, but my face didn't burn and I look way better than George with his raccoon tan around his eyes from his sunglasses...

It was an expensive trip as far as bus fare goes (from my door to the Aegean's shore and back cost 28YTL, which is a considerable chunk out of my meager first pay check), but it was worth it. It was an amazing day for it, and with the weather bound to turn cooler soon, I can justify the splurge. After a couple hours we sent a text message to our Director of Studies: "Sorry. George and I decided to quit and open a language shack on Altinkum Beach. Sondra can have my White Out."

Work
Still going strong. I administered my first exam tonight to my Intermediate class. It was nice and relaxing and I got to sit and look at my students, a nice change from them normally watching me sweat bullets. This was the class that I inherited from three previous teachers (over the course of the last couple months), so the class has shrunk considerably from its initial enrollment. The six who are left (including one woman) form a pretty nice group of students, though. My businessmen! They're always in there in their suits and ties. They're a hard bunch to impress and I don't know if maybe they just feel silly learning English from such a little girl, but they haven't dropped out yet so they're motivated.

I have my first observed lesson this Saturday. I'm a bit nervous since this is one of the check points towards actually having a job for a year at PEÉ. I'm sure it'll be fine but it'd be so absurd if I ended up being sent back to the States... I'll be teaching my Pre Intermediate class and they're a fun bunch. Last week we were learning dating/relationship vocabulary and I made them do a speed dating activity where they had to create personas for ridiculous photos (like a clown in a magenta costume; a guy with huge red, yellow and blue mohawk spikes; a gold digger; a deep-sea diver; etc). They had a good time and I think we're developing rapport, but I'm still learning a lot about how to speak slowly and deliver instructions clearly.

Turkish Friend?
In the front office of PEÉ there are about five or six women who do various secretarial duties. One of them is this super sweet one who knows enough English to communicate with me. She's 21 and is a student, so she only works a couple days a week, but we've started emailing each other to make plans to hang out. She's promised to take me to the cool venues in Izmir--I need a guide--but it'll have to wait until I get my first substantial paycheck and can afford to go out. It's exciting, though...

Adventures in the Grocery Store
Okay, here are my new foods of the week.



Milk. In Turkey, milk is primarily available in vacuum sealed boxes and is unrefrigerated. I heard weird things about it from people at work--that it tastes super gross compared to regular, refrigerated milk--so I've been avoiding it. I decided to suck it up and spend the 80 kuruş to find out what it tasted like. I stuck it in the fridge before work and just tried some. I can report that I am pleasantly surprised at its drinkability. It's got a mild flavor of baby formula, and it doesn't taste like the rich and amazing California milk I'm used to, but I will definitely be buying more of it. Now if I could just find granola...

Peanut Butter. The jar that I bought had the creamy, whipped consistency of Jiff PB. A tiny bite of it proves it to be suited for the filling of a candy bar--this "peanut spread" is more like peanut-tinted Nutella. It's creamy, sugary, and nothing like peantus ground up with salt. Oh well.

Mystery Meat. George and I couldn't figure out if this meat needed to be cooked, or if it's salami. I guess we'll find out tomorrow when we try to make sandwiches to take on our day trip to a beach out past Çeşme.

The "Honeymoon Phase" has yet to end

I have never been so consistently happy. I have never not complained as little as I have over the past three weeks. The one thing that I can say that I honestly hate about life in Turkey is that the doorknobs here really suck. They require more torque to operate than their American counterparts. Okay. Big deal. Is that all?!?!

I am not concerned that I am getting paid absolute crap--I have been working probably four times as many hours as I am getting paid for (prep time versus actual teaching time). It doesn't bother me that stores close early at night here and I don't have food for lunch tomorrow. It didn't bother me when, at our hotel in Kuşadası, there wasn't any hot water for showers for two days. I am not annoyed to be walking all over the place. I am not irritated by the number of people crammed into the city. The dirt and the noise do not bother me. I am fine with the unpredictable availability of toilet paper in public restrooms and have learned to carry my own. I don't care that I can't find refrigerated milk and have yet to become brave enough to pick one of the eight brands available in tetrapaks.

This is the way life is here. I can't believe that I'm not complaining. What is happening to me?!

Let me wax poetic. İzmir, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways... Seviyorum (I love):

• not needing car. I <3> lowering my carbon footprint.
  
• buying my groceries from tiny stores next to where I live. Though big business must surely exist, local businesses appear to be thriving even in downtown urban centers. Some chain stores exist but they are smaller than anything I've ever seen. Wal-Mart what?
  
• the absurdities of life. Turkish traffic. Turkish fashion. Turkish encounters.
• the bread. My god, the bread! Flat; fluffy; dry; chewy; buttery; flaky; bagel-like; stuffed with goat-chevre and parsley; baked with olives; a special bread available only during Ramadan; pita like you've never eaten before; sprinkled with regular sesame seeds; sprinkled with toasted sesame seeds; brushed with egg whites before being baked. Bread soaked in soup. Bread by itself. Bread, bread, bread.
  
• the Aegean. Every day, walking along the water. I love the smell, the wind, the fishermen catching fish at all hours of the day. It's beautiful at dawn, under the noon sun, at twilight and when it reflects the lights of the ships late in the dark.
• that they don't care about small change. When buying fruit and veg, or paying your bill for that matter, Turks round up or down to the nearest 25 kuruş (cents).
  
• the tea. Teeny little glasses of black tea are consumed more often than the world-renowned Turkish coffee. Sugar cubes are always served on the side. Little spoons rest on the saucer. So far I have seen one Starbucks in Turkey--one--and only once have I seen anyone toting around those stupid paper coffee cups that just end up in landfills. Turks sit down to drink their tea and when they're done, they wash the glass and use it again. Bless their hearts.

Out of Izmir and Back

If I had known that we were going to Tourist Land, I probably wouldn't have wanted to go to Kuşadası for 2 nights. You can check out the pictures in my album. Basically, I stopped taking pictures once we got there because it wasn't as amazing as I had hoped. It was an expensive two days and cruise-goers clogged sidewalks, identified like cattle with their neon plastic wrist bands. There was one total downer--on our way back to town after going out to Panucak Beach, we saw police hanging around what had been an accident sight. A body was on the ground, covered with newspaper. I guess they were waiting for the ambulance (or hearse or whatever?) to arrive? It was pretty sobering.

There were 9 of us altogether (7 women... yikes), plus a little toy-like dog named Nippy. Everyone was from work, except for a Turkish woman who is married to one of the men at work. I'm glad to be home. *sigh* I uploaded a some photos to my site, and explain a lot in there but here are the...

Highlights and Redeeming Experiences:

--- I finally found postcards. I've been in Izmir for WEEKS and hadn't found a single postcard. They were practically everywhere in Kuşadası.

--- Spending some quality time with the Aegean Sea:




--- Getting a snippet of the end of the Call to Prayer. Notice that everyone does not stop what they're doing (disassembling the massive tents/bazaar that had been going on all day long):




--- Finding something authentic. Much to our surprise, George and I managed to find actual Turks in Kuşadası. As we trailed through some endless shopping district last night, he heard music being played. He followed it and found a tiny little hole in the wall type restaurant venue where a traditional Turkish band was setting up. Though the others wanted to hang out and drink first in an Irish pub and then some bar called Golden Oldies where they met Turkish break dancers, George and I split off to watch a four-person band (a singer, a clarinet player, a violinist and a drummer--all male) and Turks dance to their hearts' content. Pretty awesome.

Moral of the Story
Though I was glad to get away for a couple of days and lay on the beach, I think next time I get a few days off work, I'm going to plan them more carefully...